Thursday, February 7, 2019

Seven Ways to Stop a Stalker

Thank you to the women who participated in the Seven Ways to Stop a Stalker workshop. The goal of this session was to demonstrate ways to deal with creeps of all kinds, from street harassers to domestic abusers.

We shared and practiced a variety of skills and strategies to get stalkers to back off.
  • Setting clear boundaries
  • Recognizing red flags and types of abuse
  • Understanding the psychology of abusers 
  • Defending ourselves physically 
  • Escaping from an attacker
  • Public shaming 
  • Involving the police and courts, and more 

Right: A diagram that describes forms of abuse that are less obvious than physical and sexual violence, but still based on power and control over the other person.

Right, below: This diagram shows how abuse follows a pattern, starting with the "honeymoon" period, escalating tension, then punishment for imagined crimes. 

Below: We practiced kicks, punches, and escaping from holds.

We practiced blocks and counter-moves to stop an attack and get away safely. 

We practiced group interventions like this one.


Understanding stalker psychology gives us a strategic advantage. For example: Abusers are rarely "out of control" - usually it's the opposite: they use intimidation to control and manipulate others. They can charm us with gifts and promises to gain our trust while they look for opportunities to get power over us.

We talked about getting help to recover from the fear and trauma of being stalked, and coming through it stronger and wiser.


Thank you to everyone for sharing your stories. 
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