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We shared and practiced a variety of skills and strategies to get stalkers to back off.
- Setting clear boundaries
- Recognizing red flags and types of abuse
- Understanding the psychology of abusers
- Defending ourselves physically
- Escaping from an attacker
- Public shaming
- Involving the police and courts, and more
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Right, below: This diagram shows how abuse follows a pattern, starting with the "honeymoon" period, escalating tension, then punishment for imagined crimes.
Below: We practiced kicks, punches, and escaping from holds.
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We practiced group interventions like this one.
Understanding stalker psychology gives us a strategic advantage. For example: Abusers are rarely "out of control" - usually it's the opposite: they use intimidation to control and manipulate others. They can charm us with gifts and promises to gain our trust while they look for opportunities to get power over us.
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We talked about getting help to recover from the fear and trauma of being stalked, and coming through it stronger and wiser.
Resources:
- Vancouver Island Crisis Line - 1‑888-494-3888
- Vancouver Rape Relief 24-hour hotline - 604-872-8212
- Bridges for Women
- Women's shelters and transition houses
- Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
- The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
Thank you to everyone for sharing your stories.
Contact us anytime: radfems@pm.me.