We shared and practiced a variety of skills and strategies to get stalkers to back off.
- Setting clear boundaries
- Recognizing red flags and types of abuse
- Understanding the psychology of abusers
- Defending ourselves physically
- Escaping from an attacker
- Public shaming
- Involving the police and courts, and more
Right: A diagram that describes forms of abuse that are less obvious than physical and sexual violence, but still based on power and control over the other person.Right, below: This diagram shows how abuse follows a pattern, starting with the "honeymoon" period, escalating tension, then punishment for imagined crimes.
Below: We practiced kicks, punches, and escaping from holds.
We practiced group interventions like this one.
Understanding stalker psychology gives us a strategic advantage. For example: Abusers are rarely "out of control" - usually it's the opposite: they use intimidation to control and manipulate others. They can charm us with gifts and promises to gain our trust while they look for opportunities to get power over us.
We talked about getting help to recover from the fear and trauma of being stalked, and coming through it stronger and wiser.
Resources:
- Vancouver Island Crisis Line - 1‑888-494-3888
- Vancouver Rape Relief 24-hour hotline - 604-872-8212
- Bridges for Women
- Women's shelters and transition houses
- Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
- The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
Thank you to everyone for sharing your stories.
Contact us anytime: radfems@pm.me.
